What's on Your Bookshelf?
“What’s On Your Bookshelf” is a personal and professional growth podcast exploring the intersections of passion, potential, and purpose - featuring multi-certified coach and leadership development consultant Denise R. Russo alongside Sam Powell, Zach Elliott, Tom Schweizer, Dennis LaRue, and Michelle King.
What's on Your Bookshelf?
49 - The How of Happiness - Cultivating Optimism: The Power of Shifting Perspectives and Visualization for a Gratifying Life
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What if the key to a gratifying life was right within you, nestled in your perspective and thought patterns? Buckle up, listeners, as we, your hosts Denise Russo and Samantha Powell, navigate you through the stimulating realm of optimism, debunking myths, and highlighting the joy in little things. We'll guide you through the labyrinth of big and little optimism, illustrating the profound impact of shifting perspectives, a subject Denise explores vividly in her book on the transformative power of punctuation.
We don't stop at discussion, though - we want you to experience it! We'll dive deep into a fascinating study that encouraged participants to visualize their best possible future selves, demonstrating how adjusting our thoughts and beliefs can significantly influence our actions and results. The feedback? A crescendo of positivity, with listeners reporting noticeable improvements in mood and physical health. But remember, it's not just about thinking; it's about doing too. Let's journey together towards better understanding and fostering an optimistic mindset, choosing a refreshing perspective on the world, and stepping out of the overthinking trap. Prepare for an insightful, thought-provoking episode that could potentially alter your life's trajectory!
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Cultivating Optimism
Speaker 1Welcome to what's On your Bookshelf , with your hosts Denise Rousseau and Samantha Powell .
Speaker 2Hi everyone . Welcome back to another episode of what's On your Bookshelf . This is a Life in Leadership podcast where we are living out loud the pages of the books on our shelf . If you're just joining us , my name is Denise Rousseau . I'm here with my co-host and friend , samantha Powell , and we are going through a series this year on the topic of happiness and pursuing happiness .
Speaker 2We are in the midst of a book right now called the how of Happiness . It's by Sonia Lyobermosky . I think I always pronounced that wrong . You got it right the last time , but it's the same . I got it right the one time . Yeah In case .
Speaker 2This book is a great book about approaching happiness through the lens of science . Where we are today is in the second part of the book . If you have been listening to this podcast for some time , then you know that we work through these books over multiple weeks so that we can really digest the content , live it out loud and be able to apply it to our life . In this second section there's a lot of activities and tips , but just to bring you up to speed as to where we are with this , these tips that are in the book are based on tips that would be personalized to your own personal assessment that you'll take in the book . It's not an assessment you have to share with anyone . It's just a free self-assessment that will give you the top tips for your life . Last week we discussed the number one happiness activity on my list , which was expressing gratitude , and today we're on to number two , cultivating optimism , which , sam , I understand is number one on your list .
Speaker 1Yep , it is you and I are knocking out our top picks here right out the gate , which is kind of nice . But , yeah , cultivating optimism , which I absolutely love . And my favorite part , I think , as I read through this section of the book , is that it talks about one of my absolute favorite activities and I loved that like this one ended up being ranked my number one when we did the assessment . And then , inside of it , as I read it because I did the assessment first and then read through this I was like surprised what are my favorite activities in here , so we'll definitely chat about that in a little bit .
Speaker 1But when we think about building optimism , the kind of definition she's got in here is building optimism is about not only celebrating the present and the past but anticipating a bright future . So it's really looking at things backwards currently and in the future with optimism . I think people generally know what that is . But she goes into talking about some of the . She starts us off with some of the myths of optimism . I think sometimes when you're around super optimistic people , you're just like a little exhausting . You know , sometimes we feel that way of like , oh my gracious , like it's great in some maybe small doses , but not overall .
Speaker 1So she sort of starts out with this , like dispelling some of the myths , and one of the big things she talks about is a distinction between what she calls big optimism and little optimism . So , and it really involves like how specific or small our positive expectations are . So something like the example she gives is my flight tomorrow will arrive on time , which is little optimism , right , small little thing you can grab , versus we're on the threshold of a glorious age , right , that's big optimism . And so when we think about cultivating optimism like big optimism is usually where our head goes right , like , oh my gosh , my 10 year plan is going to be amazing . The future is so bright it's . You know , it's that kind of thing .
Speaker 1But I love this concept of little optimism and I think , when I think about what happiness really is , it's living a kind of life that allows space for just little . You know those little things , right , like , oh man , I like I'm so excited to go to basketball practice with my son tonight . Right , like I'm just so excited to watch , like you know , these little kids just learn something new and have a good time and be their little goofy selves . And you know , like , that's like when we think about optimism , that is a version of it and that's my favorite version of it .
Speaker 2You remember , years ago there was a book that was called Don't Sweat the Small Stuff , because it's all small stuff , yeah yeah , I don't think I read it , but I remember it when it came out .
Speaker 2Well , scott , maybe you can put that into the show notes for our listeners , but it's about this kind of same idea is that we often get so caught up in the things that are around us maybe daily , maybe weekly that aren't on the bright side , or that maybe make you feel like there isn't a silver lining , or that make you don't feel good in those moments , and that book is really another book . It should be on your bookshelf , listeners . But it's really about focusing on what's right in front of you right now , and so what I like as well you mentioned it from the chapter is where the author talks about that this isn't just gratitude for the past , but it's being able to anticipate a bright future , and so what I got out of this particular chapter even though it wasn't in my top three on my list was that this actually is directly aligned with the book that I'm writing right now , that you know about Sam , and it's look about the power of punctuation . It's the power of punctuation with just a short sentence in front of it , which is what if ? You can put what if and question everything ? What if this happens ? And what if that happens ? And what if it doesn't go the way I want , or what if I don't get this out how I want ? Or you can change that punctuation to an exclamation mark and suddenly it changes the entire storyline , like what if it does happen the way you want it to be ? What if you go after your dream and you actually see it come awake ? What if you actually invested time to uplift your potential by learning something new ? What if you actually did take one step towards your purpose in life ? How much more fulfilled would it be than sitting in a place of maybe fear or lack of optimism , thinking , well , that's never going to be for me , or I'll never get this or I'll never get that .
Speaker 2And it's interesting because the other day a friend of mine posted on social media that she must have just watched a documentary about Tyler Perry , the TV producer and actor , and the documentary I guess I haven't seen it , but the documentary was about his success story because he's a billionaire with a B . Well , it so turns out , I actually worked with Tyler Perry when he was first starting out and he had nothing , no money , and the person I worked with that associated me with Tyler was the person funding his plays . He used to produce live plays before he started producing television and films and so I got a chance to work directly with him and learn about him on his very first two plays he ever produced . And I sit there thinking , when I saw this post with my friend , what if Tyler had stopped and said , well , what if I never make it past a local theater stage ? What if ? What if I'm really not cut out to do television ? What if I ?
Speaker 2I wonder what he thought when he bought his first television channel . Like , well , yeah , how did he feel when he got his first billion ? Like , do you know , can you ? I think that he probably lived a life , or lives a life of optimism . But one thing I know about him from my past with him and watching his career unfold over these years is that this is about having gratitude first . It's not about saying I can't or what if this or what if ? That's pessimistic In the chapter talks about pessimism . I think that probably where Tyler's success came from was that he didn't let things stop him , even when they seemed impossible to move around .
Speaker 1Yeah , I think that that's what you see a lot with . Really , what we deem successful people is that they do cultivate optimism . They do cultivate that attitude of , yeah , like this is going to work out , it's all going to work out . She calls this . In the book there's this one little thing where she talks about big optimism , little optimism , but then very small optimism . She said that that's the feeling that you'll make it through this day , this month , this year , and there may be ups and downs , but everything will turn out all right in the end . I think that when you talk to entrepreneurs , when you talk to people who've started a company in their parents' garage , all of that , it's that unrelenting . If I just keep at it , if I just keep going , it's all going to turn out okay in the end . She says that little optimism , when you're in that smaller space , it predisposes us to behave in constructive , healthy ways for specific situations . When we cultivate this little optimism of hey , this thing tomorrow is going to be good or I get to do you change that .
Speaker 1I have to do , I get to do this . When you make those little shifts , it helps you really cultivate a good , constructive , healthy way to approach what's coming at you . Then , when you cultivate the really big optimism she said that's what gives you that overall feeling of like vigor and resiliency and strength and energy . The different levels of optimism , from the very small to the very big , help you just move forward . I was just thinking , as you were talking about your book and the power of punctuation . I just finished a book called it Takes what it Takes by Trevor Moab , which is amazing If you love sports at all . It is such a good book and it's really all about the power of neutral thinking , about how , yes , you've got to cultivate optimism , but when it comes down to getting things done , it takes what it takes and you've got to have to have this attitude of like I'm going to buckle down , I'm going to do it . It's fabulous book , like one of those like probably life-changing books for me .
Speaker 1But he quotes in it Gracie Allen and her quote of Never Place a Period where God has placed a comma . I heard that saying a couple of times . It's a famous quote . I think there's even a book on it now . But I looked it up because I was like I don't know much about Gracie Allen I think she's comedian from back in the day and I looked up the story and the quote was actually written in a letter to her husband , george Burns , that he found in a desk for him after she died . So she passed away . She wrote a letter to George and in that letter that's where this quote comes from .
Speaker 1So in this moment of her passing away they had a long marriage . It was good she leaves him with this never place a period where God has placed a comma . Right , she might be gone , but there's still a lot of life left and I think in that it's in that type of thing , right ,
Cultivating Optimism Through Visualization Exercise
Speaker 1and that's your whole . Your premise of your book really is don't how you end the sentence with a question or exclamation or a period or whatever . It changes how it is . And I think when we think about cultivating optimism , it's about cultivating in a way where you can sit in curiosity , where you can sit in hey , it's all going to work out , there are things that are going to come , and you know , I just I think that's so incredibly powerful . I think that's why this one calls to me the most , just because I think that sitting in that mindset opens up your whole , your whole space , your whole world .
Speaker 2I love that you shared that story out of a sports book because it figures you would tell a love story , because you know me , hallmark channel . Like you should write an investor in the Hallmark channel Totally , really great story . So one of the important points about what you're making here that I took away from this chapter as well is something that you and I talk about a lot with School of Thoughts on the podcast , with our retreats , other things we're doing with our coaching clients which is , if you want different results that you have in your life , you have to do something different about it , and that action is important . But that action comes from a belief or a disbelief that you have in something , which is what we're talking about . Is it a what if ? A question , or is it a what if ? An exclamation ? And those things first start as thoughts . So where we're talking about in this book , the how of happiness , is we're talking first about how do we change our thinking , but the thing that stood out for me in this chapter was how do we change our doing , and so one of the things that this chapter talks about is that optimism is not only thoughts like , oh , I'll get there , life will be good , but exactly how will it get accomplished ? And so what I thought maybe we could do , sam , is share with the listeners and exercise or it was a study that was done because this study I actually would like to do myself . I would like to invite you to do it with me , because it's always more fun to do it together , but I think it's something our listeners can do as well , and it's something that will take them from this episode all the way to next week , and maybe they'll be able to see even changes in their own results .
Speaker 2Now you and I talked off microphone about some different things before we got started today , and I think that this exercise is primetime ready for me , and so does it sound okay with you for me to share the exercise with our listeners ? So there was a study in the book where the scientists had visitors come to a lab for four consecutive days and each day they had to spend 20 minutes writing a description about their best future possible self , so writing the story of what does their best possible future self look like , and it's really a mental exercise where you visualize your future self over multiple domains in your life . So , for example , if it's over the four days you might say what's my best possible future self next year at this time , like this time last year , you and I had a much different life than we have today . Right , like this time last year was far different . We were going through significant changes at our job this time last year , also not knowing what was going to happen a few months later . And so what would your life be best possible future a year from now ? I would say with confidence that this year from now , where we are now , is much different than when it was last year .
Speaker 2So then you do another , go ahead , so you pick the timeframe , but maybe you say what is my best possible future self five years from now or 10 years from now ? And so you go through these multiple domains or life stages that you have , depending on where you are in your life , as the listener . And then what this does is it helps you focus on your most important deeply held goals and then actually picturing those things being achieved . So this is first about changing our thinking and then we focus on changing our doing , because you can have a dream about the future and , as we often talk about and we talk about this extensively in your signature story retreats that we produce , which is if you want a different future , then what are you going to actively do about it ? Not just think about it , but what will you do about it .
Speaker 2So in this particular study , they compared a group who didn't do this exercise , this writing exercise , and there were . For the people who did do the exercise , there were immediate increases in positive moods . So that was an immediate change . They were happier several weeks after the four day session concluded and they reported this is important fewer physical ailments several months later . So this isn't just about changing your mental fitness . This is potentially about changing your physical fitness as well .
Speaker 1Yeah , this is one of my absolute favorite activities and we actually did a special episode where we walked people through this . So if what Denise is saying resonates with you and you're like I'd like to try that out , go back to July of last year . There's a episode called Special Episode from July of 2023 , or , yeah , 2023 . And we walk you through this exercise and really ask you those questions and have you pause and write things down and really do that . We did this with our retreat attendees . That's one of the things we have them really think about . We get a lot of really positive feedback on it . It helps them kind of open up their thinking , because I love it , because it helps get you into this really positive mindset and this really optimistic mindset . It's probably why I love that this is in the after .
Speaker 1Something right like this was the one that I was just like I can't believe this is in here and like , of course , no wonder I like it because this is what I like , like cultivating optimism at the end of the day , but it's it's so great to watch people .
Speaker 1I've done this with a bunch of different folks from our retreats . I did like a new graduate webinar to like help you know , the new , new college graduate or to high school graduates kind of get into a mindset of like , where do I want to be , you know , five years from now , 10 years from now , what does that look like ? If I really like , take a minute to think about it , and it's my favorite exercise to do , and people just love this exercise . You can see their eyes light up . You can feel how much optimism about their , their personal future They've cultivated by going through this exercise . So if that sounds like something you'd like to do , go back to the , go back to the podcast episode from last July , because it was . I think it's a good one and it's a lot of fun . It's a lot of fun .
Speaker 2So , scott , maybe you can put that link in the in the show notes . One of the things the author said is that she found from doing this exercise that if you want to reap long term emotional benefits , then you need to devote persistent effort . So , again , if you're new to listening to our podcast , I would highly encourage you to listen to the entire series on atomic habits . That's about making tiny changes that have remarkable results over time . This is about persistence and consistency , and one of the things that you just shared , sam , is so important , which is that doing this alone is really hard . So if you don't have an accountability partner or a friend that can walk through this with you , find someone . But even more importantly to that , I would encourage you to find a coach .
Speaker 2Sam and I are both coaches . We're happy to help you . If we can't help you , we will be able to help you find someone that can help you . I'm on the global board of the International Coaching Federation . Sam and I both have multiple certifications in different coaching programs and we know a lot of coaches . So if we can't help you directly , we can find somebody that can help you , and so this isn't your power to transform yourself , and so , if you can go through , we always encourage listeners to get the book yourself . In this chapter it walks through these different writing exercises in detail and there's a lot of supplemental information , not only in the book but that the author gives through her website and other information . That's all free , so I would definitely recommend that . I know we're almost out of time for today , sam , so what kind of closing thoughts would you give to our listeners about this activity number two ?
Speaker 1Yeah , I think that one of the things she talks about about why optimistic thinking boosts happiness is that it can really be self fulfilling . It enhances happiness because it prompts us to engage in active and effective coping mechanisms . It really helps us think about what could happen , which affects what we end up doing , because if we think something's possible , right , if I think I can get in shape , then I'm going to take actions that get me there . Right , my likelihood of that is way better and I feel more positive about it . Right , I mean , you can do this exercise with yourself now , right , if you can find something and be like , oh yeah , I can totally do that , you can feel that happiness kind of bubble up in you .
Speaker 1So it's a really powerful strategy , I think . And and she gives some , you know some ways to really think through that , which is again like this this best possible selves thought process . You know writing out your goals and your sub goals . You know , I mean I'm a huge goal person figuring that out , and then you know figuring out your barrier thoughts , right . And , denise , to what you just said , that's where coaches really help out . You need somebody sometimes to help you understand and see yourself from outside yourself .
Speaker 2One thing I'll point out real quick before we have to close for today is we made a mention to having a lot of friends who are coaches . If you are listening and you're a coach , this chapter is awesome for you as a coach because it walks through actual questions as a coach that you can share with your clients on this exercise . It gives you the actual questions . So I would strongly recommend whether you are a positive intelligence coach , a happiness coach or life coach or a business coach , this chapter is chock full of ways for you to add to your repertoire or your toolbox as a coach with your clients .
Speaker 2One of the things that you said , sam and we'll close after this is that all that's required to become an optimist is to have a goal , followed by practicing it , and by practicing it , you'll be able to have more optimistic thoughts during times of stress , insecurity or heartbreak .
Choosing Your Perspective on the World
Speaker 2I put one comment in the book that I highlighted , a quote that says the world can be a horrible , cruel place and , at the same time , it can be wonderful and abundant . You have the choice to think about what lenses you see that world as . So , friends , thank you for joining us today . Next week , we're going to be talking through the happiness activity number three , which is about avoiding overthinking .
Speaker 1That's a big one in today's world .
Speaker 2It's probably on my list . I'll have to go look at my list , but again for this week , my name is Denise Rousseau . On behalf of my friend , Sam Powell . Thanks for joining us on another episode of what's On your Bookshelf .