What's on Your Bookshelf?

58 - Solve for Happy - Introduction

Denise Russo, Andy Hughes, Scott Miller, and Samantha Powell Season 2 Episode 15

Embark on a transformative journey with Denise Russo and Sam Powell, as they unravel the secrets of living a joy-filled life in our latest podcast episode discussing Mo Gawdat's "Solve for Happy." They're merging heart and science to dissect Gawdat's engineering approach to happiness, sharing how this method is revolutionizing our own lives. Gawdat, with his dual lens as a grieving father and a sharp-minded Google executive, crafts a poignant narrative that challenges traditional views of success and invites a redefinition of contentment that's both personal and universal.

This episode isn't just about theorizing; it's about real-life applications. They share powerful stories and practical strategies that promise to guide you toward a more fulfilled existence. As they compare notes with "The How of Happiness," they analyze the myths that obstruct our path to joy, emphasizing how our relationships and reactions to life's hurdles significantly shape our happiness. Join Denise and Sam as they present a fresh perspective on crafting a life that's not just successful, but also truly satisfying.
Additional Resources:


Order: Solve for Happy

The How of Happiness
website

The Passion Planner
Passion Planner discount code: RWRD.IO/EFWYE73?C

Denise Russo's Website
www.schoolofthoughts.net

Denise Russo's Forbes Articles
Forbes Article Link

Samantha Powell's Website and Blog
Lead The Game

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Andy Hughes
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Speaker 1:

Welcome to what's On your Bookshelf, with your hosts Denise Russo and Samantha Powell.

Speaker 2:

Hi everyone. Welcome to another episode of what's On your Bookshelf. This is a Life in Leadership podcast where we are diving deeply into the pages of the books, of books that are on our shelves, that we really like, and our theme for 2024 is happiness. My name is Denise Russo. I'm here with my friend, sam Powell from Lead the Game. We are here as executive coaches and leadership development consultants, but we're also here as people that are really diving deeply into making these pages come to life for our own lives, and so I'm super excited that this is the first episode of our next book in the series of happiness. Sam, how are you doing today?

Speaker 1:

I'm doing great. I'm super excited to start another book in this series. I really did love the last one and I learned so much and I applied so much and I saw tangible results in my life. And then this one is going to layer on top of that and I just can't wait to dive into it with people.

Speaker 2:

Me too. So what are we reading this time?

Speaker 1:

All right, so this time is Solve for Happy by Mo Goddat. He's got some great YouTube videos where he talks about this. So if you've never heard of this book or if you've never heard of him, go check out some of those YouTube videos. Just Google his name, mo, and then his last name is G-A-W-D-A-T, because he's fun to listen to and his book is great. It is. I am really, really, really liking it. So this is Solve for Happy. So, denise, you picked this one out. This was on your bookshelf, but you hadn't read it. Right, this was one of the first ones that you hadn't previously read, so tell us why this one appealed to you.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think it's funny that you said go Google his name. He used to work at Google, so he was the former chief business officer at Google. And when I saw the book I thought, oh, this is interesting. It says Solve for Happy engineer your path to joy. You and I say I'm both just well, not just now, it's been a whole year. We've recently left a long-tenured career as engineers for a software company.

Speaker 2:

So when I saw this title and it was a bestseller, international bestseller it was something that struck me that wow, I think I want to read this Now. I didn't at the time read the summary. I had no idea what the book was about, but I knew it was from a guy who was the head of Google, so he probably had some intelligent things to say from a software perspective. But, man, as I surprised when I cracked open this book and was able to dive deeply into it. We learned months and months ago when we first started the podcast from the book Coach Wooden by Pat Williams, that when you dive deeply into great books and you try to live these books out loud, your life will change. And for me, sam, this book was excellent. I learned, I reflected, I was able to see myself in scenarios that he described, and yet I also found myself experiencing and we'll go through this, I'm sure, together extreme sadness. Even I found myself. I was reading a part of this on an airplane recently and I found myself crying in a few places where I grappled with how this man had to experience very deep grief and loss, and it's my hope to apply what I learned and to actually solve for my happy.

Speaker 2:

So the fun thing about doing this podcast with our listeners is you and I are a little bit ahead of where they'll be when they're listening, and yet we're able to share what it is that we've learned. So today we're going to go through the intro, which we've already read, but we hope that you also, friends, will get a copy of this book. It's so good. Scott is going to put a link in our show notes where you can get a copy of the book, but catch up to the reading with us, or read along with us, or read ahead of us, so that you can also dive in. So, sam, those are some of my initial thoughts. I love this book. I didn't think when I first got it that it would be one that I would love, but I now have this off of my shelf as one that I can truly say has been such a value add to my life, yeah, I agree.

Speaker 1:

And it's so well written, right. Like I love the last book because we learned so much of it. It was so practical, it was written by a researcher, right, so it was. It had all the data and all the information you need. This one is written like a story and I do appreciate that and it's kind of a nice palette cleanser from the data heavy science, heavy, you know book of last time. This one is just so beautifully written Like. So I agree with you.

Speaker 1:

I encourage people to get a copy of this book and read it along with us because it is extremely moving. It is really like it's interesting, you're. I mean, I was hooked from like the first page of just wanting to pour through it because it's. It is really that that well done and it's such an interesting concept Like I love. You know, I have a math degree, I'm a mathematician at heart. I love the idea of solve for happy, like right now he presents an equation here eventually in this book. But I love just the thought process.

Speaker 1:

But it's it's again like I am loving diving deep in these books with you because they are actively changing my life, they're changing the life of my clients because I'm using this knowledge and this new information to help people. I just, I was just talking to somebody yesterday and was talking about atomic habits. They were asking about, you know, a goal they had that was really big and they're like I've been sitting out for 10 years, I want to do something with it. I was like, oh, my friend, let me, let me just talk to you about some ways to start really small Right, like let's do tiny little things to get us there. So you know, I can't wait to apply this book. You know, moving forward with you, know myself, with friends, with colleagues, with talking with you, it's this is a really good one.

Speaker 2:

It's a really good one. I love my time with you, sam, because you made a comment that really strikes me as to why we decided to do this the way we do this. When we first started what's on your bookshelf? It felt like a commercial. We were spending 20, 25 minutes rapidly whipping through a book, and it felt like I was just trying to sell somebody else's book, but not really helping listeners learn how to live this out loud.

Speaker 2:

And when we got into the series where we said, no, let's take a pause and go a little deeper, go a little broader, live this stuff and share our own personal stories, I not only sensed that I grew stronger in my relationship with you, but that I was able to also become stronger personally, because I was holding myself accountable to the stories I was telling myself, the things I was believing myself, the actions or inactions I was taking in my life, and the outcomes have been truly tremendous. And so we talked about a few episodes early on in how of Happiness. How interesting it was that how of Happiness came right after Atomic Habits, which came right after Coach Wooden. It almost says that there was this divine thread of how these books are coming in a certain order. This one is once again just perfect, following the how of Happiness, and it's set up with four different parts to the book. Do you want to share a little bit, sam, about how this book is set up? Sure, you know, I love talking structure.

Speaker 1:

So part one is really just about setting up the equation, kind of setting up the rest of the story. So part one is the intro, a couple of chapters, two chapters where we will just really set up what we're going to dive deep into in the book. Part two he calls the grand illusions. So that's something that we talk about in chapter two, but in part two we really dive into the six grand illusions and then in part three we go through the seven blind spots and then part four, we talk about the five ultimate truths, and these are all part of the things that help us solve for happy, and so I love the way they're titled, right Like grand illusions and blind spots and ultimate truths, like how intriguing. I love the wording he chose because it makes you go, oh, like what? I want to know more about that. So I can't wait to get through these parts with everybody.

Speaker 1:

But we're going to focus today really on just the introduction, and the introduction for this book is him telling his story about really where, where this came from, why he wrote this book and what it is. And it's extremely, extremely moving and, as you said, you cried throughout the book in a couple of places. This, this intro definitely had some tears in my eyes because I can definitely relate to it. But yeah, it's a quite the start. Quite the start to the book. What did you think as you started reading?

Speaker 2:

I feel like my eyes are getting teared up even just now thinking about it. You and I have spent many episodes where we share wonderful stories about our kids and our love for our children and for being a mom, and this story, sol for Happy, came from a place for Moe where he found extreme sadness because he lost his son. He lost his son, ali, in an older age. He was in his early 20s when he suddenly lost his son, and the story talks about the tragedy around how his son died because it's something so unexpected, but what came from it was that Ali was always such a peaceful, happy human being and the stuff that the way he lived his life is what his dad learned about solving for happy in a time of extraordinary sadness.

Speaker 2:

So not to be a downer friends, but that's how the book starts. It's very sad, but yet by the end of the book you can see the transformation that this man had to be able to find happiness despite something so horrible happening in your life. So, even though it was written by a man who was a very, very senior executive at Google and you would expect it to be a business book about leadership, it's an extraordinarily personal book and one of the things that he shared which is something that I know you and I really talked about quite a bit in all of 2023, sam was that money and titles don't bring you happiness. Your job doesn't bring you happiness. It's about your relationships and the way you lead and live your life, and that has been very foundational to the way we build this podcast. So how about for you in the beginning of this intro?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I was very moved by historic and also relate to losing a child. So that really grips me from the beginning and I just I think in my own life experience. I love that this book on solving for happiness right Getting down to the root of happiness to bring it forth in your life starts in such deep grief because I understand that I can understand holding both things at the same time. I understand being that complex and being able to find happiness even with that and there's something extraordinarily beautiful about that. So I was really personally connected from the beginning because I get it. And he goes in right from the beginning. He talks, he starts out letting us know that his son had died and he started writing right after. But then he goes in and he tells us the story of sort of how he came up in the world and his path and, like you said, he chased riches and fortune and all of these things and just realized none of it was making him happy. And we know that from the hell of happiness that the research tells us that's true and we've seen a million stories and we've heard a million things. But that's also part of his story and so he'd chased this life of, you know, grandeur and success and money and fortune and all that good stuff, and it wasn't making him happy. And so then he made changes and then he helped other people make changes and then he realized he really had something, and you know he talks about. You know, on the front of this book, you know it's one billion happy. He started out with one million people like one million people to make happy and now he's up his goal to a billion, like right, he's trying to get a huge portion of the global population happy. And you know that's such a to go after such a lofty, important goal from a place that didn't start great. Right, that started, you know, in a lot of misery, trying to chase all of the wrong things and then having this huge, huge loss in his life of his son. I love what he's doing with it. Right, because it's not right. We learned inhale of happiness.

Speaker 1:

It's not what happens to you, it's what actions you take, it's what you do about it. I always say this about, you know, being laid off. I wrote a blog post on it one time. But you know people would always say, oh, you know, when I got laid off, people were like, oh, people tell me it's the greatest thing that ever happened to them. Like down the road once they're past it, like that's what it is. And I just disagree. Being laid off is not the greatest thing that will happen to you. It's a terrible, horrible thing that happens to you, right, just like losing someone you love, just like. These are horrible things and they are that and they are allowed to just be that.

Speaker 1:

But what matters is what you do with it afterwards, right, how do you move forward? What actions do you take? What purposeful things do you insert into your life in as a result of this? And that's the best thing you'll ever do? Right, the best thing that will ever happen to you is what you do with your circumstances, not the circumstances themselves. And I love that, because this is a tangible, physical thing that shows that right and really sets this up of. You know he wanted to. You know, have his son's legacy, be happiness and to spread that. And so you know he says when I grow up, I wanna be just like Ali, right, that's one of his quotes in the introduction Like I just love that and I love that. That's how this book starts out and I love that. That's the seed that we're starting with as we think about how we solve for happiness in our lives.

Speaker 2:

I agree with you. There's so, so much in what you just said that I think is important. In the time that we're having this episode air, it's probably now the middle of 2024. And 2023 was a really hard time for many people us both included 2024, no different. Thousands and thousands of people over the last two years have lost their jobs. People have lost loved ones. You know people always put a marker on 2020 saying, you know, post COVID, because COVID was such a time of loss.

Speaker 2:

But, man, 2023 and 2024 were gut punches as well for many people in many different ways, and one of the things that I valued in the book here was that I could see myself in some of his story where he was sharing pre-being a dad. He did all the things, all the right things, all the things that we all try to do to build a career and craft a legacy, and go after a good job, to make a good living, to take care of your family, and he reached a pinnacle of success that many people will never, ever get to. But then he started getting into this habit of wanting more, wanting more, wanting more, and in fact, you taught us about this during the how of Happiness, there was this concept of hedonic adaptation and he references that same thing which was like boom light bulbs for me again about wow. This ties to the last book, without these authors even knowing it. The hedonic treadmill that he talks about is the more you get, the more you want. The more you get, the more you want.

Speaker 2:

And I remember seeing last holiday season. There was this Christmas movie, I think it was on Netflix and it was a Christmas movie with Eddie Murphy and it was called Candy Cane Lane. It was a cute little show. It's probably not on now because it's not Christmas time. Maybe it'll come around next holiday time.

Speaker 2:

But I remember watching the movie with Vincent and in one scene it kept showing the side of this building. You ever seen like a brick building in an old, like an old small town that has like murals painted on it? And there was this ad painted on the side of the building that said comparison is the thief of joy. Well, it was subliminal, because that was the point of the movie was that joy was being stolen because of comparing to keeping up with the Joneses type of a thought and in this idea of the more you get, the more you want. Well, what happens is when you have more and you suddenly lose it. It's not that any sort of loss doesn't hit the person that loses it, but the more you get and the more you lose, it's really, really devastating, and so he talks a little bit about that.

Speaker 2:

One thing, though, that I thought was interesting that was opposite from the last book is that he says I didn't approach the subject from the same perspective as the psychologist who'd written books and conducted experiments that made happiness research such a hot academic discipline. So I highlighted that because, again, it goes to show that this book is not the same as the how of Happiness, and yet it's symbiotic in the way that the two books go so nicely together, and so one of the things that really struck me in that part of the intro was that he said he had had some conversations with some loved ones and he had suddenly had hit him that happiness shouldn't be something you wait for and work for as if it needs to be earned. It's about really having your happiness being within you, and we talk about this a lot, even with just the conversations we have in the articles that I've had an opportunity right for Forbes about finding the center of your purpose through EkeGuy, which is finding happiness in the moments, not thinking it's something elusive that you have to be on a scavenger hunt to get. So those are some of the quick things that I thought.

Speaker 2:

I have a lot of notes. I told Sam, for those of you that can't see us on video, I have little post-it note flags on literally every single page of this book. I have notes everywhere. I have a couple other things that maybe stood out for me, but, sam, how about for you? What are some of the key takeaways in this intro?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I love what you're talking about. I highlighted the same line about how that this is different than the research step, and I loved that and that made me so excited as I started to read this book because I was like, oh good, I want something that gives me a different perspective on this topic of happiness. And so I was really excited. And as I go on and on and on in this book, I'm like, oh man, they do go together so well. So I was really excited about that.

Speaker 1:

I think there's a big quote, and I know we're kind of getting towards the end of our time here, but there are two things that stood out for me, and one is he said that he would have conversations in his head with his son after he passed away and he would ask him how do I handle losing you? And his son would say back to him in his head it's over, dad, I've already died. There's nothing you can do to change that, so make the best out of it. And that line to me was that was one of the ones in this intro that really hit to the heart of me of you know, what happens happens right. It's 10% of our happiness. It's that circumstances of the things that happy you know, that happen, and for us to really feel Happiness and to move forward in our lives, we have to accept that. They accept the reality of what is it is so that we can move forward and we can Go and find that fulfilled and happy and contented life. That's there, and so I think that that's.

Speaker 1:

I love that it starts the intro with that encouragement of you know it's, it's over, whatever has happened to you is over, and it's what you do with it as you move forward. And then the other big thing that stands out to me is just, you know what he says. I'm not a sage or a monk hiding away in a monastery. I go to work, I fight in meetings, I make mistakes, big mistakes that have hurt those I love, and for that I feel sorrow. In fact, I'm not even always happy, but I found a model that works, a model that has seen us through grief, the model that Ali's life helped generate through his example. This is what I want to offer you in this book and I, like I ultra circled that ultra highlighted it, because I think that that, to me, really summed up what this introduction is about and really the sets the stage for the whole book.

Speaker 2:

I'm really looking forward, sam, to going through the book with you and with our listeners and listeners. If you are new to our podcast, well, first of all, thanks for being here. We hope that you'll subscribe it and also share it with others, and please send us some notes about what you're taking away from what you're learning. Scott Miller, who's our producer, has in the show notes ways for you to get in touch with us. Also in the show notes, scott, if you can, please add this for our friends. There's two links that Mo shares in his book that help give you a deeper dive. One is solved for happycom and the other is one billion, happyorg. These are two of his websites that will give you even deeper dives than what we're going to be able to do together.

Speaker 2:

For me, most sets the stage for who he is and how he approached happiness, and the rest of this book is about how he was able to experience a happy life despite losing his son. So next time when we get together, we'll be into part one, chapter one, which interestingly talks about the myths of happiness which you just mentioned. Something, sam, about that 10% and friends. If you don't know what Sam's talking about, that is an entire premise foundational to the book we just did the how of happiness, and one of the parts of the how of happiness also talks about the myths of happiness. So next time is part one, setting up the equation to solve for happy, where we talk about the myths of happiness. So again, friends, thanks for being here. My name's Denise Russo. Thank you, sam Powell, for being here with me. I look forward to being with you again next week on another episode of what's on your bookshelf.