What's on Your Bookshelf?
“What’s On Your Bookshelf” is a personal and professional growth podcast exploring the intersections of passion, potential, and purpose - featuring multi-certified coach and leadership development consultant Denise R. Russo alongside Sam Powell, Zach Elliott, Tom Schweizer, Dennis LaRue, and Michelle King.
What's on Your Bookshelf?
125: Un-F-Yourself: Intro-Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life
We introduce a book that's new to both of our bookshelves: Gary John Bishop's "Un-F-Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life." Unlike previous episodes where at least one of us had read the book before, we're both diving into this one together, exploring its no-nonsense approach to personal development.
• "Un-F-Yourself" offers a wake-up call about how we often block our own progress
• The book's main premise: you are the problem standing in your own way
• Contrasting with stoic philosophy from "The Obstacle is the Way," this book takes a more direct approach
• Sam shares how taking imperfect action with her Substack newsletter led to growth and development
• We discuss how many of us have dreams we don't act on, from writing books to other personal goals
• The importance of messy action over perfect planning
• This book speaks to those feeling resigned or defeated about their circumstances
• We'll explore the book chapter by chapter in upcoming episodes
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Welcome to what's on your Bookshelf a life and leadership podcast where we live out loud the pages of the books that are on our shelves, with your host, denise Russo, and Sam Powell. Hello everyone, welcome back to another episode of what's on your Bookshelf. This is our Life and Leadership podcast, where we live out loud the pages of the books that are on our bookshelves. Sam and I have a book for us today that we did not have on our bookshelf. We both got it because it sounded really interesting. You'll get the gist of it as we start talking about it today, if you're just following along. We just finished a really good book, and an exercise in living out loud with the obstacle is the way, by Ryan Holiday. I really liked that book even more than I thought I would when we started it, and so today we're on a journey to really untangle our mess and, sam, I'm looking forward to being here with you today. How are you?
Speaker 2:I'm good. I'm good. Yeah, I think this is the first time you and I are reading a book that neither of us had on our shelf, which is fun. I don't know Like it's a little bit different. And we're also, you know, usually one of us has read it or we've both read it. And, um, you know, usually one of us has read it or we've both read it, and so we're picking it back up like a second time. You know, we're taking it off the shelf or doing whatever.
Speaker 2:But this will be the first time we're like we're actively like learning, reading, doing like I don't know, it's gonna be interesting and we might have done that with the Atomic Habits back in the day too, but I don't know, this is gonna be a little bit different. But yes, this is Gary John Bishop's Un-F-Yourself and it is actually spelled out with the little asterisk, if you can see it in the podcast title and things like that. The title is very eye-catching and like ooh, makes you stop and look at it. But the getting out of your head and into your life really resonated with me, because I think that's what I spend 90% of my coaching. Encouraging people to do is let's get past the thoughts, get past the ideas and get moving and get, you know, really into living the ideas that go through our head.
Speaker 1:I like to think that I truly do live each day on the things that we've read, but what makes this book so interesting is me catching myself not doing those things, and what can I do to really move forward? Some of the things that I want to accomplish and do. And well, first and foremost, I just I love talking with you every week. It's one of my most favorite parts of every week and Vincent and I were talking yesterday. He's like he listened to last week's episode, sam and he goes. I just think that you and Sam need to stop being so happy on the podcast. And I said well, funny enough, we spent a whole year researching how to be happy and I'm happy sitting here talking with you, and I was so excited to see you lifted up your Starbucks cup this morning. I have one too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've got my Nashville one today.
Speaker 1:I don't know what you've got, Okay mine is Disneyland Paris, so cheers to our episode today.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's funny. My son always yells at me too because I laugh a lot, like you could hear it in this podcast. Obviously you talk to me all the time, so you hear it. But I just tend to kind of always be giggling, and I do it even when I'm uncomfortable, right. Or if it's just like I just tend to kind of always be giggling and I do it even like when I'm uncomfortable, right, or if it's just like what is happening right now and I laugh it off, right, like that just happens. So, yeah, I get yelled at by my 10 year old all the time of like stop laughing, stop being so happy, and it's like not always happy, like I just I don't know. This is just how I talk and who I am and I don't know. It just is something.
Speaker 2:But I am happy to be here and I am very happy to be exploring this book with you and I love the back cover on. This makes me laugh too, because it says wake up, you're an effing miracle of being. And I'm like, yeah, like, let's get into that. That's such an interesting thing. But you're right, I, you and I we talked about this for just a few minutes before we hopped on here to start recording and realized we needed to just start recording because we both kind of had this same thought of like this. This book really does sort of encourage us, not even into the content, which we'll dive into, of course, but just in, like the way the book is set up, the way the book is structured. I think it made both of us realize like, oh, we need to. We've been putting off books that we need to finish and get published and done and, um, this, there's just something about this book that sort of makes you feel like things are possible, like just to get into action, get into moving, get into actually doing the thing.
Speaker 1:yeah, this book that the subtitle of the book says get out of your head and into your life. And I think that at first, when I read it, I thought, well, is this going to be for somebody who's just like eeyore complex? Oh, here I go today. But no, I think it could also be for anyone that's just a little bit stuck, like we talked about even in the obstacle is.
Speaker 1:The way is that it doesn't have to be that the obstacle is so insurmountable that you can never overcome it, but it's just something that might be annoying or time consuming or distracting, or just something that you think well, if I do that one thing, I have to take away from something else, and so you made a point right before we got on the call to talk about how we both have a bunch of books in our head that we want to write, or maybe there's a paragraph that's written down, but what is it that is blocking us not preventing us, but blocking us from moving forward? Is it something we have to create an atomic habit over? Is it something we have to shift our mindset around? Is it something that we just have to take action toward? And so my thought is that, while this is really great for all of you listening in and thank you so much for supporting our podcast. What I love most about our time is that this helps me to grow personally and with you, sam, as my accountability buddy, using your friends.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, absolutely, and I think that that's that's part of the secret to life like is that you have to be the person who's doing the thing right, like, we all have a lot of like dreams and ideas, and I think you and I, as coaches, we see a ton of that. We hear a lot of that from people. Right, oh, I want to be doing this, this is where I want to go. You know, this is the thing I've always wanted to do, or this is the place I've always wanted to be. This is the, you know, accomplishment I've always wanted to have. But we all get stuck along the journey in some way. I don't know a single person who's accomplished anything who hasn't been stuck along the way. But the difference between people who are really successful and people who are just dreaming in a corner are the people who get out of their head and into life right. They take the next step right, even if it's small, even if it's messy, even if it's not even good. It's just that moving forward is what helps you. You know, to do things and and to really, you know, make something of it, like I I was thinking about this.
Speaker 2:I started a sub stack like newsletter blog just a few months ago in like March I think, and it was suggested to me by my coach because I like to write. I already have a newsletter going right, all that sort of good stuff, and when I started it it was messy. It was messy Like I wish I would have screenshotted, like versions like once a month. Wish I would have screenshotted versions once a month. Maybe I'll start doing that, moving forward just to see the growth and the change. But now it's this whole site that is a community that's got a lot going on and it's not even close to being where I want it to be. But it's just this constant iteration of doing something right, like getting out there and making it happen. And so now I've got this platform, now I've got all this structure and I am constantly tweaking it. I think I'm obsessed with just writing and doing all this. I don't know, it's just become this thing that I love to do.
Speaker 2:But it is like version one through 20 was a hot mess, like you know. Just it didn't have direction, it was really unclear, and like I just keep tweaking it and keep making a change and keep doing the thing and like, instead of saying, oh, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do this. Like I've just been doing it and I've been writing a blog for a few years now. I mean I've got hundreds of entries at this point, right, like I've got volumes of written work, that like it's something I can turn around and use in other places and it helps people and it's interesting and you know that kind of stuff. But it's this. It wasn't like it's taking the dream and putting it into just really, really messy, really, really messy work at first and then sort of getting it done, and I think that that's really like when you think about getting out of your head and into your life. Like to me, that's really are the types of things that it means.
Speaker 1:I can't wait to learn from you how that all works, because I know you've been telling me for weeks now to write my own and I haven't.
Speaker 2:I think people would love to read your work over and over again, not that they don't on social media, but it's just sort of a different like platform type of a thing.
Speaker 1:I just need to do it. I've got about 18 books truly started and, let's say, even almost ready to go, and I just need to just do it. But there's something in my mind that stops me from doing it, and I think that we often talk about with our clients and even on our show, about how if you want a different result, then you have to do something different. That's common sense. It's just not commonly applied that if you want something different, you have to change something about your approach or your process or your system or your thinking, which I think is really the whole gist of everything we've talked about for three years is it doesn't matter if you're given every template, every tool, every book that we read, every article or TED Talk if you don't apply it, like how john wooden said in his book that if you don't drink deeply and apply the things you're learning, then it's just words on a page. And so I think that it's interesting following these authors that have some sort of personal experience with what they're sharing, like this guy, john John Bishop, gary John Bishop I don't know who he is, but it says he's a self-help and motivational kind of a speaker. But something started him and it makes me curious to wonder was he blocked and then had some epiphany, became unblocked and then was like, wow, let me write a book about that. Or was he just that person that you think, oh oh, he's always had his stuff together? My guess is he didn't always have his stuff together. Something prompted his interest in helping other people get out of what the cover says about people with excuses and reasons and opinions and judgments and fears and self-doubt and belief.
Speaker 1:And maybe as we read the book, we'll find out more about this guy. He's from Scotland, so he moved to the United States in the late 90s and it says that that's where he opened up his pathway to self-development and so it was interesting to think about that because he was working for a personal development company. So we don't know a lot of history about him. If anybody's listening out there and you know who this person is, shoot us a note or send us some kind of comment on our LinkedIn, because it would be interesting to know what you know about him. But what's really, I think, fascinating about his writing is that he just is no holds barred. He tells it like it is. He has no filter whatsoever. His back cover says he lives in florida, so maybe we'll figure out where yeah, you gotta figure out where he is.
Speaker 2:Maybe you guys can meet at disneyland awesome.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and he's got this, like, and you're saying like he's got this very much like um, like no holds barred approach, but like he, he says it's like uh, if you're easily offended, don't read this. Don't read. Like, yeah, he's telling you really from the outset that the problem isn't your, is other people, money, your job, relationships, circumstances, the problem in your way. Right, you and I are talking about blockers we've got, we've had, we've seen other people. He's his point of view here. What this whole book really explains is that the problem is you, you are the thing that's in your own way. And he's basically saying like no bs, no, anything, like it's you, you're the problem, you've got to work on it and it's just. I think we.
Speaker 2:There's something about that type of like irreverent, very strong point of view that is very appealing to people. Right, and like, I think that's what makes me like, what makes you pick up this book, book is the title, right. And then you keep reading it and you're like, okay, like this guy's, like you want we almost sometimes just want somebody to be like, yeah, the problem is dot, dot, dot. Here's what you got to go do, and that's sort of what this whole book is. So it's a very different approach, like right then last book we were talking about, like you know, the obstacle is the way, right, the, the path that kind of becomes in front of you, with all the problems, all the issues, all things that come up, really integrates and comes the way.
Speaker 2:There's something, I think, a little more peaceful, a little more integrated in that approach. Right, like, let me just absorb this and move forward. Like right, it's all stoic philosophy, whereas this is like you're the effing problem, it's like whoa. So it feels like a little bit of a 180, like going from from that, from where we just came from, to this. But it's also like I think that may be the kick in the pants you need after like, okay, the obstacle is how we get through this. We're gonna make it part of the journey, we're gonna make it become the path and you know all this great stuff and it's like this guy's like get to it, you're, you're in your way and here's how to you know un-f yourself, how to get yourself like not messed up anymore and into and past those blockers that we all come across and we all get in our life.
Speaker 1:I wonder if some of the contrast Sam is like the obstacle is something external. If you think about the story of the guy that moved the rock, he was looking at the obstacle. He could see it, touch it, feel it. It was there, but it wasn't him. He had to create a solution to get around it. But this book is about what you said the obstacle is you.
Speaker 2:you're it, you're it you're it, and so yeah, I really yeah, and so this really.
Speaker 1:There was another book I don't think I have it on this shelf. I have another shelf and the author is I hope I am picking the right offer. I think it's john acuff, a-c-u-f-f. He has a book that's called punch fear in the face, and so I think I bought it for the same kind of reason. Think it's John Acuff, a-c-u-f-f.
Speaker 2:He has a book that's called Punch Fear in the Face, and so I think I bought it for the same kind of reason that it was like whoa that's dramatic, yeah, and so you know it's a strong point of view that is appealing a lot of times, right, and so we, sometimes we shy away from, I think, those stronger points, right, we try to soften ourselves, we try to soften that.
Speaker 2:But like I think those stronger points, right, we try to soften ourselves, we try to soften that.
Speaker 2:But like I think that you know you're saying like we don't know all of his background, he's not somebody that we, like have a ton of experience with as author, and but like in my own experience of working with people right, as a leader, as a coach, as a mother, as a friend, as a whatever, you do realize I think a lot of times that, like we're the thing that's at our own way, sometimes you just want to shake somebody and be like, do you realize you're causing your own problems?
Speaker 2:Like, right, and, and this is sort of that wake-up call for yourself of like, do you realize you're causing your own problems, do you realize that you're the one holding yourself back? And that's sort of his and that's the appeal is like, well, if I'm the one holding myself back, I can control myself. I should be able to fix that right, I should be able to move beyond that and get into this life, that I say that I want right to publish the book. I say I want to publish and I say I've been going to publish for the last few years and really like getting getting into it.
Speaker 1:I don't know why this is sort of making me think about the movie Rocky or the multiple series of the Rocky movies, because if you think about the storyline, it was a guy who had some hard knock life obstacles in his way. But when you think of a boxer, imagine if the boxer's coach was like a mom, like you get punched down. And the mom will be like are you OK, do you just lay there? I'll get you a bandaid or just rest Right, like a typical kind of momish thing. But the coach is like no, get the F up, you can do it. Punch harder, you can take it, just turn your cheek the other way. Like they want you to be able to just keep fighting, keep fighting for whatever that thing is that you want before the bell rings, whether that's in your job, in your relationships, in your life with your family, with your friends, and so I really look forward to figuring this out next week.
Speaker 1:Week when we get into the book. It starts by saying that this is literally a conversational slap in your face from the universe to wake you up. We talk about a lot around the idea that we can all have passions in our life. Those are the things we dream for. We can have potential in our life, but you can always learn more, but it's your purpose in your life that you were destined for. We can have potential in our life, but you can always learn more, but it's your purpose in your life that you were destined for. And so this book, I hope, is going to show us the way that you can take that destiny. Figure out what you enjoy doing in life, that you're good at, which is part of those two ikigai legs, and then also combine it with what do you need to do to learn how?
Speaker 1:And so for me, over these last years with you, sam, it's been learning. How do we keep putting one foot in front of the next foot to get towards that thing? We're on a constant journey. It's sort of like the alchemist, one of my favorite books. It's not about each milestone along the journey, it's about the journey itself. It's not about the final destination, but what you're experiencing along the journey. It's about the journey itself. It's not about the final destination, but what you're experiencing along the way. So next week, when we jump into this, like, how are we going to set this up for our readers, because there's a few different chapters in here and you had some good ideas about what we're going to do over the next few weeks.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this book is. If you are a someone who wants to write a book and hasn't done it yet, pick up this book. Just as like a case study, because it's it's written very straightforward, right, like it's the same. It's totally on brand with his approach of just like no bs, straightforward, here's what to do, right. And so this book is written that way.
Speaker 2:So this is, it's a very sure. There's no long intro, there's no this. Like it gets right into it from the beginning and it ends right at the end. Like it's a very there's no long intro, there's none of this. Like it gets right into it from the beginning and it ends right at the end. Like it's just nine chapters, it's here's how to work through it, here's what it is and um. So I think we're just gonna take a chapter, an episode and talk through each one of the topics.
Speaker 2:Um and again, this is what I like about this book is that he said it's not for the people who are like ultra positive I think, like our children would accuse us of being. But he said it's. It's the handbook for the resigned and defeated, a manifesto for real life changes and unleashing your own greatness. So this isn't, this is for you if you're not feeling it, or if you're like I just something, something's holding me back I don't know what it is or like I'm just resigned to the life that I have now. This is really about working your way through that and you getting out of your own way, and so we're just going to take it, I think, a chapter at a time, a topic at a time, and work through it over the next what? Probably nine weeks here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that sounds good. He says in his dedication, sam, that I acknowledge the downbeat and the downtrodden, the single mothers, the unemployed fathers, the dreamers and wannabes. I am you and you can do it is. Not only is he going to have some stories that are relatable, but it's because he walked a path that maybe some of us also feel that we're on some parallel road, that's. That's similar to some degree. So I'm looking forward to next week. We're going to start with chapter one, which is called in the beginning, which is ironic. Yeah, can't wait to.
Speaker 1:So everybody, go get this book. We'll have a link for how you can get it. I'm assuming, when you're listening to episodes, you already know this is the book because we talked about it the week prior. But if you need a link, we'll provide a link. One last thing too. I noticed that, sam, you had mentioned before we got on the microphone that you thought was interesting about the book is it's a different shape than a typical sized book and that it didn't have a slip cover on the book it has a nice texture too, like, yeah, if you're a sensory person, it's a nice book.
Speaker 1:It's got a nice texture. I found that it's interesting because it's going to wake you up to something different than what you might be used to, and I'm hoping that's what we learn from this book is something different than what we're used to in life. So well, we're out of time for today, looking forward to next week. Sam, thanks for being here, as always. I'm looking forward to talking with you next time and those of you that are listening. If you get value from these episodes, please share them with others and let us know what you're thinking. We'll talk to you next time. This is Denise Russo, and on behalf of my friend, sam Powell. It's been another episode of what's on your Bookshelf.