What's on Your Bookshelf?
“What’s On Your Bookshelf” is a personal and professional growth podcast exploring the intersections of passion, potential, and purpose - featuring multi-certified coach and leadership development consultant Denise R. Russo alongside Sam Powell, Zach Elliott, Tom Schweizer, Dennis LaRue, and Michelle King.
What's on Your Bookshelf?
127: UnF Yourself- F-ing Your Self-Limiting Beliefs
We explore Gary John Bishop's concept that you have the life you're willing to put up with, challenging readers to stop blaming external circumstances and take ownership of their responses to life's events.
• The crucial difference between being willing and unwilling to accept your current circumstances
• How willingness is defined as "the quality or state of being prepared" – readiness for action
• The paradox that sometimes becoming unwilling to tolerate your situation is the catalyst for change
• Breaking down the path to change: finding the door, understanding purpose, and charting your path
• Why dedicating just 30 minutes daily to your goals can create significant transformation
• How taking control of subconscious thoughts that sabotage your progress is essential
• The importance of accepting that career paths are no longer linear but more like climbing walls
• Why revisiting your "why" statement helps navigate changing goals and circumstances
Join us next week as we explore how you are "wired to win" in chapter three!
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Welcome to what's on your Bookshelf, a life and leadership podcast where we live out loud the pages of the books that are on our shelves with your host Denise Russo and Sam Powell.
Speaker 2:Hello everyone, welcome back to another episode of what's on your Bookshelf. This is our life and leadership podcast, where we are living out loud the pages of the book. Hello everyone, welcome back to another episode of what's on your Bookshelf. This is our life and leadership podcast, where we are living out loud the pages of the books that are on our bookshelves. My name is Denise Russo. My co-host is Sam Powell. Together with you, we are going through the book called Un-F Yourself Getting Out of your Head and into your life with Gary John Bishop, and today we are now into chapter two of the book. And, sam, I am ready and willing to get started with you today.
Speaker 1:How are you Good? I am willing as well, which is the title of this chapter, and I like again, like he said, one of his quotes in the last chapter, towards the end of it, was if you are easily offended, stop reading now. And it reminded me of the the book. One of my favorite books as a kid was the Monster at the end of this book and it was about Grover from Sesame Street and the whole thing is like him going't turn the page, like stop turning the pages. There's a monster in this book. He like builds a wall, he tries to tape it shut. Like it's hilarious. I think I loved it because my mom did a bunch of voices too as she was reading it. But it's my one of my favorite books of all time.
Speaker 1:But this is that of like, okay, we're in it now, right, this is this is really like we're beyond the beginning. He said if you're easily offended, stop listening now. So I hope you're not easily offended, because we spent a long time in the last book really working on all of that and working around the obstacles. But this is getting into. And he says at the very beginning stop blaming luck, stop blaming other people, stop pointing to outside influences or circumstances. And he starts this chapter with you have the life you're willing to put up with. And when I read that I was like ooh ouch. But he is not wrong, right. Like I have the life I'm willing to put up with, right Everything I want, yeah, and I don't have I've, to this point, been willing not to go get or go work for, or I've been willing to do other things and prioritize other things instead of them.
Speaker 2:You have to read that and then turn the page back one more time to what Sam just said, which is stop blaming your circumstances in life, stop blaming things that you can point at or point to. This is about you. It is about how you are going to live your life. And the author says you have a massive say in the ways you live your life in the aftermath of different kinds of events. Now, last week we didn't get through the whole first chapter and the whole first chapter was literally I don't know 25 pages, and these are double space lines, narrow book. There was a lot to unpack just to get us started.
Speaker 2:So, with this book, as you go through it, if you're reading along with us, there's some really key kind of milestones in this particular chapter about what you're willing to do. And there's some really key kind of milestones in this particular chapter about what you're willing to do. And so I think that what we'll do maybe to start out, sam, is just highlight what some of these key milestones are and then see where our conversation goes. And so the author says you got to find the door. So imagine that if you're on a journey, the first step is find the door and we'll talk about what that means.
Speaker 2:But after you find the door. The first step is find the door, and we'll talk about what that means. But after you find the door, then what do you do if the door is closed? And if the door is closed, then what's the power of your purpose, like, what's going to make you open the door? It makes me think about Monsters Inc. I think I talked a couple episodes ago about Monsters Inc, since they're building a new land at Hollywood Studios, but because I always have to tell you my fascination with Disney World. But anyway, so now you have the door, the door is closed, you have some, and then it says reach for the stars, even if you have short arms.
Speaker 2:You're still going to be reaching upward instead of, you know, leaning down, I guess. Chart your path. So you chart the path. So you have a door, the door is closed. You have a purpose. You reach up, you look at the stars, you chart a path. It sort of makes me think about you know, when you're looking at even the way the constellations are in the sky. You've got this path. You know where you're headed. Now you got the path mapped out and he ends this chapter by saying plant the flag. And that's sort of like you know saying I am willing to say that this is mine, I'm going to own this, I'm putting my flag here and then I'm going to move forward.
Speaker 2:And then after today when we move into next week. He gets into the fact that this is possible because you are wired to win at whatever this game is that we're playing, called life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and he says, if you're willing to put up with your situation, then whether you like it or not, that is the life you have chosen. And he says, by defending your circumstances as they are right now, you are actually making a case for being where you are. Give it up, no buts, you can't afford them. They're excess baggage on a trip that requires you to travel light. And I have all that highlighted, obviously, and I and yeah, like, as we get into this journey and talk about these points because that's a good, it's good to see where we're, we're headed on this Like you've got to accept again. Like I think that that's what this book is about.
Speaker 1:A lot in this it's like you have to accept this. Then here's how to move forward, here's some things to think about, here's what to change to make that happen. And I think so many of us get caught up in not accepting these like truths. And that's where this like irreverent, strong point of view that he's got. I think it's really helpful and really handy. Like stop effing yourself over. That's really what he's saying, right. Like, accept that you have the life you're willing to, you know, willing to put up with, and the reality you have?
Speaker 2:yeah, and the reality, though, is, like he also said, this isn't about you have a perfect life. This is about you have a life, and what are you going to do with the life that you have? And so he says that the true. Well, it's another philosopher, and we're going to have to learn how to pronounce these philosophers' names, but this one was in the last book also, so Epictetus, I don't know something like that I was going to Google it last time and I'm going to Google it this time.
Speaker 2:I'm just going to call him Epic. So Epic. Speaking of Epic, we should probably get paid by all of these theme parks. But Epic Universe is a new park at Universal Studios. When you think of the word Epic, you think of something massive and amazing, right, like, oh, it's going to be so epic, it's going to be so grandiose.
Speaker 2:Well, this philosopher Epic I'm going to call him says that the grandiose thoughts that he had, which were from hundreds and hundreds of years ago, is that the true measure of who you are won't be found in your circumstances, but rather in the way in which you respond to them. So you highlighted the whole first part of that page. I highlighted the whole second half of the page, which is all about the fact that it's so easy to put blame on your circumstances. He even goes on to say you're going to face circumstances. Some of them might even be tragic. Maybe it's disease, maybe it's death, maybe it's a disability, maybe it's the loss of something that was really important to you. That's just part of the process of life. That is reality. That will happen. It's not if it's going to, if it will.
Speaker 2:And last week you were talking about just. You glanced over saying Mo Goddard's name because you were thinking about the other book and this whole part of this chapter I put in the margins. I put Mo because that was what he had to face in the book Solve for Happy. And if you haven't listened to those episodes, those are from last year when we did an entire series on happiness and that's the book Solve for Happy. So if you go into wherever you listen to podcasts and you look up the episode series, that starts with Solve for Happy. That's what that book was about, because that author faced very tragic circumstances but found that there's something he could do to impact those circumstances, despite what actually did happen. And I think that that tied so nicely into what this author was saying in here was that you're 100% responsible for how you respond to the things that happen in life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, respond to the things that happen in life, yeah, yeah. And he says you must first accept that, while there are things that have happened in your life that you get no say in, you are 100 percent responsible for what you do with your life in the aftermath of those events. And I think, if you talk to a lot of people and you read a lot of stories about people who've gone through tragic things, the people who come out better, and even the research like this was this was the chart that, like, I don't know it changed my whole way of thinking from the how of happiness. So, like the actual science and the data behind it is that when a tragedy, when a big event occurs that drags your happiness, like down to the depths of the bottom, if you aim for higher than recovery, right, if you aim for thriving, you can get there. You absolutely can. And I think that, like, we read those stories and we, like, we're interested in the people who faced these depths and rise to thriving because it's how do you do it?
Speaker 1:But the research shows that, like, if you aim for it and I think that's the point of this, right, like if you accept that you're responsible for the after, what happens in the aftermath. The data shows that you, you can get there and you end up happier than you did before the event occurred, which feels counterintuitive, but is a lot of people's lived experience, and we read those stories all the time. Those are the triumph stories, and the data proves it too, and so I think that that's it is like. And he says that the dictionary describes willingness as the quality or state of being prepared. It's readiness which is interesting, and not if I were to define willingness off the top of my head I don't know that that's that's exactly how I would have done it, but really, when you think about willingness, it's about being prepared, being ready for taking on whatever it is, or taking on whatever it is he talks about how you can be willing but reluctant, and that's different.
Speaker 2:So he says this part in the book. He says are you willing to go to the gym? I mean you might be reluctant. Are you excited to go to the gym or are you just willing to go? Are you willing to work on a project you've been putting off? Or are you just saying like that you're going to write a book and get it published, even though it's been sitting on your bookshelf for five years? I'm just talking to myself.
Speaker 1:I can't wait to read that book.
Speaker 2:I think it's actually really good. So, yeah, but it's definitely within my head right now. Are you willing to face your fears? Are you willing to? I love this part. Are you willing to ask for a raise or quit this crappy but he didn't say crappy job?
Speaker 1:How many people. And he says, you know, on the next page, his big quote is life won't stop for your pauses and procrastinations, it won't stop for your confusion or fear. It will continue right along without you. And so it's. Are you willing to do those things? Are you willing to?
Speaker 1:And I, I recently like saw this meme you know internet meme of like somebody that says like it was on a parenting thing and it it was like okay, so you're willing to die for your kids, but are you willing to be healthy for them? Are you willing to go to the gym for them? Are you willing to go to a therapist for them? Are you willing to do that? And like I really thought about it different and it kind of came off of the back of another thing I saw recently and read that was talking about like the butterfly effect.
Speaker 1:And we think about like, when we talk about time travel and we think about going in the past, don't want to touch anything or breathe on anything because that could, you know, create you not to exist in the future. And it's like we spend so much time and everyone's like on that concept and is like, yeah, we don't want to mess with the past because it could dictate now, but we don't think about those same little changes now dictating the future. Right, it's like if I started going to the gym, if I was really willing and ready, like I might not want to do it Most people don't until you're in the habit of going to the gym and it becomes like the thing you need to do. Getting started is hard, but it's that. Are you willing to do it?
Speaker 1:Are you going to go do it? And it says where willingness is great, the difficulties cannot be great, right? If you're really willing to throw yourself into it and make it happen. And this is in the finding the door. You've got to find the space to get started and to you're willing to go through.
Speaker 2:I highlighted the whole next part of the next page after that quote, and I put the obstacle is the way because in the last book we the next page after that quote, and I put the obstacle is the way Because in the last book we talked about how there were these. I don't know, it just must be that I was struck by the story in the last book, in the beginning of the book Sam, about the man from the village, because it was just, you know, you could almost relate to it, but then not really, because it was about a king and some villagers and it was more like a fairy tale. But here's the reality is there were some people that thought they wanted to move the rock and they maybe even tried. I can't imagine everybody was just like oh there's a rock, turn around. Some actually tried to push it, climb over it, walk around it, do everything they thought they could do, and it just didn't move. But this book says consider for a second. It doesn't matter what you're facing in life, which obstacle you're trying to overcome. If you're willing to generate that state of willingness, like the guy who got the stick out of the woods and used it as a lever, that's your doorway to making the effort, taking the steps, dealing with setbacks and ultimately creating the progress and change in your life that you're seeking.
Speaker 2:Years ago I had a boss and she told me I think I've told this story a bunch of times on other episodes but she said, denise, you're such a great starter. And I said, felt so bad after that performance review and it was like a positive performance review. But all I really heard her say was what she didn't say, which was I'm not a good finisher. She never said that, but in actuality we had a conversation after that fact and she was like I'm so sorry that you heard something I didn't say, because what I was saying is that you're a really good starter, like that's a strength that you have. But I started thinking about this piece of this obstacle and this book, which is about what am I doing to F my life up? Or you know he's saying on F yourself. What am I starting? Like my book that's been on the shelf that I'm not finishing. What's the obstacle that's getting in my way, which is my own self. This book says the obstacle is you, the obstacle is the way and the obstacle is you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and I, and I think that that's you know, that's exactly it and that's why he says like this is such a powerful statement, this I am willing statement. And it reminds me there's a book called the 15 Habits of Conscious Leadership, which is a great book and that talks about the 15 commitments. And they use the word commitment the same way he's using willing here is am I willing to do it? Am I going to actually put it into motion? And that's the same thing with what they say with commitments is commitment is something you put on your calendar, you spend your time on, you actually make happen. But he goes right into this and says like when the door is closed, right. So we were just in the like find the door right, where are you willing?
Speaker 1:But sometimes you're unwilling, but it's unwilling to put up with this life any longer. I'm unwilling to feel so out of shape. I'm unwilling to have a book unpublished. I'm unwilling to sit in this crappy job anymore, put up with this corporate BS anymore. I'm just unwilling. And sometimes that's that's the thing. It's the, it's the closed door that helps you move on right. The door behind me closed and so therefore, I, you know, i- have to move forward.
Speaker 2:I really resonated with this part of the book because when I first started reading it I was taking it as unwilling, as being like, yeah, I'm not willing to do that. But he uses it in a positive way, saying that you might say I'm willing to do something, but it's almost if you are really totally unwilling to do something that you finally will make the change. So he says until you are just simply unwilling to exist the way you are, to be unsatisfied, to be unfulfilled, only until you are unwilling to take it anymore, unwilling to put up with the BS, and he spells it all out until then, and only until then, will you actually grab a shovel and start digging. I highlighted that part because I felt like it's like you might have to get yourself right to the end of your rope, right to the breaking point where the camel's back is broken, and only until then are you to do something about your situation. But then is it too late.
Speaker 2:Did you deteriorate your health or a relationship, or the quality of your life or your job? So what are you going to be willing to do and what are you going to be unwilling to do and accept? I almost think sometimes, sam, this generation, like my kids' age, that are going into looking for jobs and stuff and careers. They're taking it from the unwilling, like I'm not willing to go work for someone that isn't resonating with my style or my preferences or my skills or my creativity or what I expect from a job or a boss or the benefits. They're unwilling and so they've kind of put these demands on companies to think in more innovative ways as opposed to. You know, back in the generation of maybe our parents, who you went to work from nine to five, monday through Friday, you got your paycheck and at the end of your tenure then you got a watch or a turkey and a thank you, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I, and I think that like right, that we're seeing these big culture shifts, we're in a very interesting, I think, like a lot of millennials, I feel like I'm sick of living through these insane times of like just really done with the once in a lifetime things, because we've hit a lot of them, is a big transformation right? Because, you're right, there is this newest generation coming fully into the workforce and they are unwilling to put up with some of the things that a couple generations ahead were willing to put up with, like, oh, this is just the game and we're willing to accept it and they're not willing to accept it and get this, like you know, clash of cultures and of things and it, and out of out of clashes comes transformation and it's going to be interesting to see how that you know how that comes about and how that I don't know shapes, shapes, things. It's interesting to be living through it and a part of it, and you know all of that, it's, it's just, it's it and a part of it, and you know all of that, it's, it's just, it's very. I look back and examine it and you know, I don't know, just see something different and see how work really transforms. But I think that unwillingness is is it's that thing that it's like the straw that breaks the camel's back.
Speaker 1:A lot of times for people it's like I can't do this anymore. I can't like nope, I'm just done now and so I'm unwilling and therefore I choose, I make a different door, right, I, I turn away from this closed door and into something else and in, and he says like into the power of your purpose. And he says, at some level you must have some tolerance for having your life turn out like this. And that's actually okay. And it's okay because and again, it's the same philosopher quoted here, the epitetus, epitetus, epitetus, I don't know Epic guy, but he says he is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has. And he says by and the author says, by stating and facing your unwillingness to change, you can take stock of yourself and your life and begin to create a sliver of light for you to at least start.
Speaker 1:And so it's that like there are 1000 doors that exist in the world and I deal with this with clients a lot in like here's five different jobs I could do. And I'm like, okay, we got to pick three or less and then eventually we got to get down to one. You can't work three jobs unless that's what you're trying to do, is, you know, portfolio career. But you've got to focus in on what you're working on. And once you accept that I am unwilling to do certain things, it does close doors, but that's a good thing, because we can't work with every open door. We've got to choose a path, we've got to make those decisions and be wise in that, like you were talking about wisdom, Was it last week, this week? But you know talking about we've got to use that wisdom to move forward.
Speaker 2:It also talks about you can think something and believe something, but you have to do something. And so when he goes into reaching for the stars with short arms, he's really talking about the activity of now. You've got the door, you've got your purpose, you picked out that one job. What are you going to do? So, even if you don't engage with a coach, it says very simply here, even if you try to do this on your own, just begin, begin today. Don't say I'll do it tomorrow, I'll do it later. Begin today, lay out your strategy, deal with your reality, because the strategy might be a really solid strategy, but you also have a life and your life has the reality piece to it. Deal with your reality, what is in your control, which we talked about before and, most importantly, take action required, and take actions often. So he's basically saying here you may do that first thing, like how I said, I'm a good starter, but you have to keep taking more actions so that you can get to big picture. First, the strategy, the vision, the mission, and then you start to look at some of the tactics behind how you're going to do that, and that's part of the charting or the mapping out of your path, and so when you take a really hard look at where you've come from, where you are now, those are all things that are either in the past or in your present, that are just now. You can't control the future, but you can control what you're doing with your now. That may help your future be different than what your past was right. So you have to take a look at all those things to reevaluate. Maybe some of those things.
Speaker 2:I was talking to someone just yesterday and this is a good friend of mine that for many years, like over two decades, worked for the same company, was a very, very senior level experience, very focused leader in kind of like one area of an industry ended up leaving that role after many years, multi, many years, like the entirely, almost their entire career was at this one place left, totally, reinvented themselves, went into an entirely new industry, became the CEO of the company where they went has and now has smashed it like amazing. So much talent, much talent, but but didn't go into it knowing the thing, the topic area of this new opportunity. But what they did was they looked at the strategy, dealt with their reality, took the actions that were required, took it by the reins, learned what had to be learned and re-evaluated where they were and where they wanted to be. And it's almost as if not that those other 20 years didn't matter, because they did matter, but it didn't hold them to the point of just living in the past and not being able to move forward into the future.
Speaker 2:And it was just such a really invigorating and energizing conversation with this friend of mine because I saw that they did what this book said, which was just reach for something that might feel or seem impossible and just do it. What's the worst that happens? You come up a little short. That's that whole reach for the stars and or reach for the moon and you get the stars, or something like that, yeah, yeah, if you reach for the moon then you'll land among the stars or something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I and I, like when I and I do, I love you know me I love plotting out the strategy and the plan and the path and the you know all that kind of good stuff, like I love doing that. But one of the things that I always make sure people do in their goal setting is to write down that why statement, why is this your goal, and write it down for yourself and then to revisit it as things pop up because life changes. Right, this friend that you're talking about with this pivot, and we see this, I see this with careers all the time and we're, I think we were all fed this reality like, fed this story that doesn't exist in reality anymore, where it's like you go work for a company for 40 years, you retire with a pension and you're tricky, like you say, like you know, and you move on and that is just not how it works anymore. Right, it's not even a career ladder anymore. I always say it's like a climbing wall. It is a whole jungle gym. It's not this anymore. So sometimes it's a step down, a step over, a step all over this wall and sometimes you realize I wanted to reach, you know, the cowbell, but now I'd rather end up at the rubber chicken. And so I need to make a change. And it's ownership of that, it's understanding why you're doing it. That's why I love Simon Sinek's start with why work? Because it's why am I doing this. And then that question you can ask yourself as you revisit that is does that still serve me? Is this still where I want to end up? And you will have times in your life where the answer is no, right Like I see a lot of people do career pivots.
Speaker 1:I like. I tend to think people generally have at least three acts, if not four, right Like in there when they look at their career of. I was on one path and then I realized the person I've become in the last 10 years doesn't want the end result of this path anymore. They actually want to shift over to this, and that's perfectly fine. And that's why career coaches exist. That's why you know all the resources out there in the world exist. It's why you see stories of people pivoting all the time, because you have to understand that. And so when you plot that path, it's not, you're plotting the path from now to eternity. You're charting the path from now till as far as you can see, with this goal, but it's okay if that path changes right. That's what we learned in. The obstacle is the way things pop up. Life changes, you become a different version of yourself, and so pivot right along with that.
Speaker 2:I think it's totally okay with what you're saying. It's sort of like thinking you know wherever you had your very first home? Okay, that was wherever you lived with your parents. You were born. You lived there forever long. You moved a lot because of the things your parents did, and so every time you move, does it mean that you can't be grateful for where you lived before? No, but you're looking forward to where you're going next, and maybe you will, and maybe you won't continue living in the home you're in, but now that's the home that your kids are growing up in, and then when you move to the next place, it's okay. It's no different than jobs.
Speaker 2:I talk to a lot of people about this because of the way that my career journey has been so curvy. I loved your analogy of the jungle gym because, as you were telling the story, I could almost visualize, in each time you were using your hands to imagine climbing up the rock wall, that that's been my life and that it isn't that you don't finish something, and so this is something I had to really get over myself on. You know, years ago, after I had that conversation with that manager I told you about. I had to get over the fact that starting something doesn't mean you don't finish it, but it doesn't mean that you finish it the way somebody else thinks you're gonna finish it. Maybe you finish it so that you can go to the next thing.
Speaker 1:you want to start, yeah, and maybe, like a lot of times, you don't even choose the finish. The finish chooses you, right? Some event happens and now you're just different and you choose to be different. I think that's what you're like choosing in this, willing, unwilling, what am I willing to do? And that isn't set in stone. And if it is, it's because you're not growing, it's because you're not changing, you're not adjusting.
Speaker 1:It doesn't mean you don't have a long career somewhere, but you don't sit in the same job you started at at 20, right that you do something different. You grow, you become better. Even people who have professions like a teacher do something different. You grow, you become better, even people who have professions like a teacher. For example, you start as a teacher, you end as a teacher, potentially. But the way you teach, the content, the information, the how you put lesson plans together, the how you engage with kids, the how you draw out of it adjusts and changes and grows.
Speaker 1:And it doesn't mean you aren't a teacher from start to finish. It means that you're a different kind of teacher depending on what you learn and if you decide you want to step away from that and go into administration or go into a whole different path, right, I mean, we've worked with teachers who have become people in the corporate sector. Right, like you don't have to end the way, like you're saying other people think you should. Sometimes the end of the story looks different. Right, this is the prequel, this was. This was section one of the book, and section two looks like this and section three looks like this, and that's totally normal. And it's way more common now, especially than start to finish what it used to look like. It's the same, it's the one job, it's the one company, it's the one career, it's the one life journey, it's the one path. That's just not how it works.
Speaker 2:But remembering, you won't get to where you want to go if you don't move. So, whether it's up the rock mountain or whether it's into a different opportunity, or whether it's moving the rock mountain or whether it's into a different opportunity or whether it's moving your physical house, it won't happen if you don't do something about it. And so he talks about in this section on charting your path is is doing something for 30 minutes a day, and he says exercising. So I should probably highlight that part. But let's just say, whatever the thing is, is doing the thing for 30 minutes a day really as impossible as your mind has built it up to be?
Speaker 2:So, if you're going to write a book, is it really that hard to invest 30 minutes out of 24 hours for you to write a chapter? If you really want to declutter your house, is it really that hard to set a timer for 30 minutes and sort out your unmatched socks? Is it really that hard for 30 minutes to upgrade your LinkedIn profile and your resume? If you don't like the job that you're in, is it really that hard to reach out to the people that you care about the most, to just tell them you're thinking about them, even if you don't have time to go meet them for lunch or be on a Zoom or a webcam to have a chat with them. Is it really that hard to just spend 30 minutes to get yourself closer to where you want to be?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and the answer is no right, it's just. And then the question he asks multiple times this chapter and ends with is are you willing? You willing, right. Are you willing to do the thing? Are you willing to spend 30 minutes? Are you willing to make that change? Are you willing to get up? Are you willing to step into action? Or are you like, or are you unwilling? Right, you have like to. To reiterate at the beginning you have the life that you're willing to put up with. So what are you willing to put up with? What are you not willing to put up with?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's easy to see things when you could physically see it right, like, like if you were to say, oh, I can see in the background what your house looks like. But when you don't see, like what's inside, then that makes it harder. And that's what we call the subconscious mind. It's something we can't see, touch or feel, but it doesn't mean it's not there. It's there and it's in our subconscious mind that sometimes needs the most decluttering, the most attention, and we don't give it because we just go with what we feel, think and know. That's at the top of our mind and our conscious mind. And so he says in this planting your flag part at the end of this chapter that when you understand what you are genuinely willing to do Remember last book too, total Sidebar, but he talked about how you have to have will and willingness and that they're like the same but not the same. So if you have the will, meaning like the oomph, the energy, the wherewithal, and the willingness, meaning the drive and the activity to get to the thing he says, when you are genuinely willing to do something, you take back control over that subconscious thoughts and feelings.
Speaker 2:So that part you can't see in yourself. That's constantly like the little devil and angel on your shoulder. That's like, oh, you can't really do this, why are you even trying this? And the other one's fighting with it? I think we called it in positive intelligence.
Speaker 2:It's like the oh, what was it called in the positive intelligence, like you're not your ego, but it's like you're Shoot I'll have to think about what it was. It's like you're your nemesis on the one, and then you've got this imposter and other thing going on. And so, anyways, he says, when you take back control over your subconscious thoughts and feelings that previously directed your behavior away from where you truly wanted to go that's where you decide to plant your flag you can determine your truth. You can not have some subconscious glitch that pops up from your past. It doesn't have control over you. It's not going to continue to say you can't do something because you're prioritizing the positive thoughts from the other chapter around what you can do, what you can do, and that what you are willing to do, do what it takes, no matter what. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's exactly it. What are you willing to do? Are you unwilling to do? And be very clear on that and step into action because of it. You're only willing if you're in motion. Right, it's like the 15 commitments of conscious leadership. You're only committed if you're in action, if it's part of your life, and so figure it out and then put the will into motion.
Speaker 2:Yeah, saboteur, that's the word Saboteur, right. So you have saboteurs that are sabotaging you, but it's you who is sabotaging you exactly yourself. Get out of your head, kill the saboteurs, get into your life, be willing to just say yes to your best, you so. So next week we're going to get closer to that, because next week we're going to talk about the fact that you are wired to win.
Speaker 1:Yep Can't wait.
Speaker 2:Anything else? Well, yeah, so here's a little plug. So Sam's coaching company is called Lead the Game and it's all about winning at your life, and so I would definitely encourage you to look into our show notes about how you can be in touch with us. Both of us are willing to help you either find a coach or engage with us if you want to get through on effing your own self and getting into your best life. What else can we leave our listeners with today, sam?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it's fine to find a thing that you are willing or unwilling to do and go schedule time right now to make that happen.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that. I love that you don't have to just accept your life, but you do. You accept the life you're in, and we're going to talk about that next week. So for this week, though, thanks for being with us. I hope you're getting value from this and, if you are, would you consider sharing our episodes with your friends and colleagues that can benefit from this? We'd love to hear from you as well, so feel free to reach out and share what you are gaining from listening to these episodes. We'll make sure that we also have some notes as to how you can get a copy of this book if you'd like to get one and dive deep for yourself, but for today, my name's Denise Russo and, on behalf of my friend, sam Powell, thanks for joining us on this episode of what's on your Bookshelf.